Tuesday, September 14, 2010


First of all, thank you so much to the 150+ people who viewed by first blog; now I for one know that I have very opinionated friends and didn’t see any comments. I have already realized that this is something that I will enjoy doing and would like to eventually take it to a much larger scale. I am on a journey to change my life and know that you all have been through something that has helped you and may help me. Last week my goal was to start making better choices; I succeeded 60% of the time. To me certain things simply go together - a burger goes with fries (maybe chips), a sandwich and chips, etc. A sandwich and a salad I can’t quite get there, it seems unnatural to me. Which now that I think about it is probably part of the reason why I am where I am now. I realize you have to re-train your mind because after you have done something for so long you instinctively do something without even thinking. This week I realize it is important to plan…breakfast, lunch and dinner. I’m not a big breakfast eater, but I’ll try to do a Slim fast. And I’ll also attempt to take this insulin religiously (5 finger sticks, 5 shots)!!!! Insert every expletive you know here!!!!!! I would love to have surgery which is I know is also only the beginning, but $15 grand I do not have. Through this journey I believe the 12 steps apply:

The 12 Steps

1. We admitted we were powerless over our addiction—that our lives had become unmanageable.

2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood God.

4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

5. Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.

7. Humbly asked God to remove our shortcomings.

8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.

9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.

11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood God, praying only for knowledge of God's will for us and the power to carry that out.

12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to other addicts, and to practice these principles in all our affairs

Research shows that committing your goals to paper gives you a higher chance of reaching them. So now I am committing my first goal to lose 30 pounds (baby steps). I am reminded of a concert I attended a couple of weeks ago, my cousin and my sis and her friend are all dressed up with high heels and the works!? I sometimes feel like the tag along, while I feel that I dress well and look nice, where does the fat chick fit into that equation. I don’t want to continue to be the fat chick with the cute face. I refuse to feel lesser of the woman I am because of the size of my waist. I refuse to continue to feel that I am not good enough for the man that I love because of the size of my waist. I refuse to settle and DAMN IT, I will not be wearing ELASTIC WAIST PANTS!!!!

Quote of the Day: It’s never what the situation is; it’s ALWAYS what you make of the situation. (revrunwisdom)



  1. If u refuse to wear the elastic waist pants, PLZ DON'T DO IT. Sis I know this journey will not be an easy one, but I have faith for you to succeed. I may not be your size, but I an DEFINITELY NOT comfortable in my body. I have been taking "baby steps" toward my goal for a long time now, w/ little progress. U motivate me to try harder. Know that you aren't on this journey alone Sis, I have your back and I feel where you're coming from. Let me know when u want to start back walking. You'll be surprised how far "baby steps" can take you... I love you Sis,
    Love your #1 fan!!!!

  2. You can do it J-Lo!!!

  3. It's a struggle and we all deal with it a some point in our lives, but you can't give up. I can appreciate you mentioning God, because He can definitely help us through this process, I can attest to this. I'll pray for you as I pray for myself and others that are struggling with this journey.

    I also appreciate your candor - being able to open up about your life - HUGE step!! I don't think that's something that I would be able to do, so kudos to you honey!! LOL! Be blessed.

  4. I know it have been a struggle and it have been a struggle for me to. I know how you feel been on the heavy side. My weight on the back side and I get tired of people saying girl you have a big ass. I have to get pants to fit the butt and thighs and then tooo big on the waist and then panties show.
    With God on your side and you put him in front you can do it. Baby steps is good and then they will turn in to big steps. I have always been here for and you have my support. Love Jackie