Hey

I just wanted to touch base and say Hey!!! I haven’t posted in a few weeks because I am simply exhausted. Starting a blog in the last semester of graduate school seems a little Looney Tooney now especially so when I’m taking 17 hours!!! But I love this; this blog is my new baby since the 15 year-old baby that I do have, is going to drive me into an early grave. I try my best to be a loving, giving and supportive mother so tell me why I am being punished??? I was a pretty good kid; I do not feel I deserve this punishment but that’s a whole other story. This may be the only blog that gives you assignments but I feel that it may be beneficial to all who has ever felt just an ounce of what I'm going through (sort of therapeutic) also.  As I’ve said before I need your help – just to talk, to motivate, give tips, recipes and maybe post an article or two. With the feedback so far and my research, I’ve made lots of changes and made new goals.

My goals and progress thus far:

• I’ve lost 15 pounds, I weigh myself on Monday morning only
• I’ve lost 1 inch off of my thighs
• My blood sugar is going down, in the past it has been 300+, but lately it has been in the 100’s, which is a major accomplishment (normal range is 80-120) !!!!
• I’m eating better and its getting easier to make better choices (as long as I’m prepared)
• I’ve added some vitamins and supplements (per Oprah) vitamin D is an excellent choice and helps with weight loss

Thus still a long way to go but taking it one day at a time.

• I’ve tried many exercises, tried a little yoga; my body is not ready to stretch that way.
• I tried a Biggest Loser video; these breasts are not ready for jumping jacks. J
• Leslie Sansone walking videos are very good.

I’m taking my time this journey and educating myself. My intentions were to post my stats (weight and measurements) but that is going to take another month or so; I’m still talking myself into that.

So what I need from all of this time is to share by:  posting any low calorie recipes you have or any tips that may have helped you,  or even post questions that you may have and please, feel free to share my blog with others. I want to thank all of you and tell you that I honestly love the comments (even though most of you feel the need to text instead of post on the site); don’t be afraid to post, let’s share this journey with all!

Quote of the Day:
The word impossible soooooo clearly says IM POSSIBLE!!!! revrun

Until next time,

Dionney

I am powerful beyond measure, beautiful inside and out

The Little Pink Book

The Little Pink Book   

Whew!!!!! It has definitely been a long week. I am definitely getting my exercise in…DISD has the most freaking stairs at all of their schools, it’s ridiculous. It’s like in the Rocky movie when he is running up all those stairs and you throw your hands up because you feel victorious when you get to the top. I am proud of myself that I have not gone to find the elevator; but let me tell you about these stairs – I see the stairs, mentally prepare myself and take a deep breath and go for it. The first set I’m thinking, “I can do this (I can get my fat ass up these stairs)”. The second set an ache starts to set in my legs. Then the 3^rd set, hell I’m huffing and puffing. At this point I am thinking I’m done but as I open the door to the school and guess what? – more DANG stairs!! Now there is somebody sitting at the top of these stairs looking at me come in the door.  So I try to smile while trying to catch my breath (while trying to act like I’m breathing normally), believe me, it’s harder than it looks. J There’s this man at one school that sits at the top of the stairs and irks the heck out of me. I decided the other day that this particular day I was going to sign in and just act like I didn’t see him sitting there (mind you he’s only an arm’s length away). So of course he talks to me today of all days, and his words were “You look like you need prayer”. I’m sure I probably did after huffing and puffing up ALL THEM DANG stairs…….smiling while I was trying to catch my breath and trying to ignore him at the same time!!! All kidding aside – I need all the prayer I can get.

Now here’s what I really came to talk about.

I have contemplated and contemplated on which diet to choose or not so much a diet but a lifestyle change. If anyone knows me and has been to my house it sometimes looks as if a tornado hit it. I think this is a rebellion from my Girlstown days, when if you didn’t clean your room all your drawers may be dumped on the floor when you returned from school; all that to say I sometimes lose things but for almost 4 years I have kept up with this little pink book. What is the “little pink book”? When I was first diagnosed as a diabetic, I attended some education classes and as a part of that class a nutritionist made a diet plan - a 1200 calorie diet plan attached to a little pink meal planning guide. That I can find the book is simply miraculous.  I'm stubborn and like creating my own stuff but I think there is some reason why I keep finding this book just like if you buy a lottery ticket and the clerk gives you the wrong one but now you have to take that ticket too because it may be a winner - ok, maybe not the same but you get my drift.

The Plan

Breakfast

3 carbohydrates (45 grams)

0-1 meat

1-2 fat group

Lunch

3 carbohydrates (45 grams)

1-2 vegetable group

3-4 oz meat

1-2 fat group

Snack

1 carbohydrate choice (15 grams)

Dinner

3 carbohydrates (45 grams)

1-2 vegetable group

3-4 oz meat

1-2 fat group

Total calorie intake 1200-1300

Seems simple enough because for each category above there is a page number beside it which foods you can eat in the little pink book. So this is my starting point food wise. I can't decide whether I want to do exercise video's at home or get a gym membership.

The above is my flashback picture would be my goal weight maybe a little smaller. To get there I need to lose more than 150 pounds. Seems like it would and will take forever, that's why my first goal is 30 pounds so I can feel like I have accomplished something. I am confident that if I drop 50 - 60 pounds I can drop the diabetes meds which would be a reward in itself.

So pray for me....I have a lot going on and long journey ahead but I am at a really good place right now. My problem growing up was that I could place value on anything or anybody but could never see the value in myself. I know that's not true, I am powerful beyond measure, beautiful inside and out.(I think that’s my new slogan) It’s time I believe it, I feel it and I see it.

Well I decided on the gym!! I got a trainer to take me through the ropes and get me on the right foot. We already had an issue (a small one) – the treadmill. Now I’m not tall by any means, hence my legs are not that long. So I was walking on the treadmill and he’s standing beside me SMILING. His smile was throwing me off but that wasn’t the issue. He kept pushing the buttons on the treadmill making it go faster and faster; that’s to be expected. I was starting to feel like I was going to fly off the treadmill, so he pushed the button up and I pushed the button down and back and forth I was thinking if I fly off of this treadmill it’s gonna be a misunderstanding in this gym and stop SMILING at me. Smiling and sweating do not go together!!! You’ll be happy to know I let him make it, especially since I’m down 12 pounds!!!!

  

Dionney
(I am powerful beyond measure & beautiful inside and out)

Quote of the Day:
If you fail people will say “I knew it” if you win they'll say “I knew it” (revrunwisdom)

I DRAW THE LINE AT ELASTIC "WAIST" PANTS

First of all, thank you so much to the 150+ people who viewed by first blog; now I for one know that I have very opinionated friends and didn’t see any comments. I have already realized that this is something that I will enjoy doing and would like to eventually take it to a much larger scale. I am on a journey to change my life and know that you all have been through something that has helped you and may help me. Last week my goal was to start making better choices; I succeeded 60% of the time. To me certain things simply go together - a burger goes with fries (maybe chips), a sandwich and chips, etc. A sandwich and a salad I can’t quite get there, it seems unnatural to me. Which now that I think about it is probably part of the reason why I am where I am now. I realize you have to re-train your mind because after you have done something for so long you instinctively do something without even thinking. This week I realize it is important to plan…breakfast, lunch and dinner. I’m not a big breakfast eater, but I’ll try to do a Slim fast. And I’ll also attempt to take this insulin religiously (5 finger sticks, 5 shots)!!!! Insert every expletive you know here!!!!!! I would love to have surgery which is I know is also only the beginning, but $15 grand I do not have. Through this journey I believe the 12 steps apply:

The 12 Steps

1. We admitted we were powerless over our addiction—that our lives had become unmanageable.

2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood God.

4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

5. Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.

7. Humbly asked God to remove our shortcomings.

8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.

9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.

11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood God, praying only for knowledge of God's will for us and the power to carry that out.

12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to other addicts, and to practice these principles in all our affairs

Research shows that committing your goals to paper gives you a higher chance of reaching them. So now I am committing my first goal to lose 30 pounds (baby steps). I am reminded of a concert I attended a couple of weeks ago, my cousin and my sis and her friend are all dressed up with high heels and the works!? I sometimes feel like the tag along, while I feel that I dress well and look nice, where does the fat chick fit into that equation. I don’t want to continue to be the fat chick with the cute face. I refuse to feel lesser of the woman I am because of the size of my waist. I refuse to continue to feel that I am not good enough for the man that I love because of the size of my waist. I refuse to settle and DAMN IT, I will not be wearing ELASTIC WAIST PANTS!!!!

Quote of the Day: It’s never what the situation is; it’s ALWAYS what you make of the situation. (revrunwisdom)

Dionney

Humpty Dumpty

 We all remember the old nursery rhymes.

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall

Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.

All the King's horses, And all the King's men

Couldn't put Humpty together again!

Humpty Dumpty was a term used in fifteenth century England describing someone who was obese. I can’t say why I have chosen to align myself with Humpty Dumpty; he is the first to come to mind for this blog. Maybe because I know I am broken and need to be put back together again. Yes, I do know Humpty is not real, except for the humpty dance!!! As long as I can remember I have always been a big girl, always confident, cool, calm and well liked. I have never had a problem with self-esteem, until now. I finally looked in the mirror and did not like what I saw. My life has become a series of health related issues mainly diabetes which affects every inch of my body. I currently take 5 injections of insulin per day on top of the 4-5 needle sticks in my finger, which still make me cringe. My eyesight changes a couple of times a year, my cuts are slow to heal, at times I may be ready to go out but my body decides to shut down. Don’t get me wrong GOD has blessed my life beyond measure. He is doing miraculous things in my life right now and we will take this weight loss journey together. Even at the tender age of 36 (whew, wipes brow), I want to see my son grow up; see the man he will become. I want to publish a book, the one I started in high school, I want to continue to advocate for emancipated youth and victims of sexual assault. To make it shorter I want it all and this body is getting in the way. I have to remind myself that it’s not too late for me, the task will be long, the journey difficult.


You may ask, why a blog? A blog - to hold me accountable; to have the support of friends, family and strangers; to share my life, my successes and my failures! I need you; this is the beginning of a very long journey.

I feel I may need the support of a weight loss program also, what do you suggest…Weight Watchers, Fat Smash or the Biggest Loser diet, what do you think? What vitamins or supplements?

Will you support me on my journey to become fine as wine and thicka than a snicka? :)


taken from: www.rhymes.org.uk/humpty_dumpty.htm